If you posted a black square back in the Summer of 2020 and now you’re not watching RHOM, you lied! You promised to uplift black and brown voices and stories and yet you’re over here complaining about Vanderpump Rules and RHOBH being bad! Well, you’re pissing me off! Miami has everything you could ever ask for in a Housewives franchise:
Aspiration- Nicole is a HOT Anesthesiologist (you know I had to look up that spelling) and has a private jet!
Incredible Fashion- Kiki is an actual working MODEL!
Famous Names- Martina Navratilova and Michael Jordan ring a bell?
Delusion- Larsa Pippen
Villains- Larsa Pippen
BBLs that people refuse to admit to- LARSA PIPPEN
As Bravo goes through this bizarre moment of shows either being cultural phenomenons (also needed to look up phenomenon) or unwatchable, Miami sits in this difficult spot of deserving its flowers and not getting them. I don’t know who is to blame but my gut says it’s the white women.
Over the course of my Bravo viewership (RHOC Season 1 devoted viewer) I have heard so many friends new and old say they have their certain shows and it’s hard to add to the roster because time is limited. That is not the case for me because I make time for the things that matter most in life. I breastfed my son for the first time to a season premiere of Summer House. If you got time to lean to got time to watch Paige not clean! And when RHOSLC (a mostly white cast) started a lot of people suddenly found the time to add to their roster. But when Miami (a mostly non-white cast) returned after a years long hiatus, those same folks no longer had the time.
Am I being annoying and self-aggrandizing (my friend used that in a text earlier and I liked it!) because I DO watch the shows a lot of viewers skip out on? YES! But if you’re skipping Married 2 Medicine, RH of Potomac (yes, it’s having a down season) Summer House Martha’s Vineyard and Real Housewives of Miami but sticking with Beverly Hills, you’re just flat out wrong. And only hurting yourself!
So in the words of Kyle Richards, “let’s be open and honest!”. If it’s a time thing drop the snoozefest shows and pick up RHOM. It is so full of hilarious moments: a gondola ride from heaven and hell, camerawork zooming in on a (now deceased, RIP) elderly man’s boner and our first ever lesbian housewife singing opera in the flattest and yet, most gorgeous key you’ve ever heard! It also has real heart and real stakes. Watching Alexia’s unwavering love of Frankie and Guerdy’s cancer diagnosis and victory!
Alright, the edible is about to kick in and I am just getting the hang of this. So moral of the story: watch RHOM or you deserve Dorit!
I don’t watch bravo and I’m properly ashamed of it!
My one friend complained their faces ‘are too weird’ and she’s right. I told her you get used to it after a while and just don’t strongly focus on Larsa, Marysol, Lisa or Alexia. Try and keep a line of sight to Kiki or Nicole